Keeping Love Alive

This article focuses on the fine art of keeping youthfulness in a relationship. Any tips given in this article are given for informational purposes only.

It is the little things in life that mean the most - the tone you use, the way you glance at your partner. These are the things that keep a relationship alive, but only when a certain attitude is maintained by the one doing them - an attitude of love, youthfulness, and excitement. When you consider the topic about which you are most passionate, how do you feel? The same attitude should be present when one is thinking about their partner. Many people maintain this attitude before marriage, but afterward fall into the humdrum of daily living without giving much thought to keeping that early excitement in their relationship. The key is to keep the mentality of courting your partner for the rest of your life.

Attitude

 * Protect your partner at least once a day.
 * Be gentle and tender with your partner.
 * Develop a sense of humor.
 * Make it a game to see how many times you can make your partner smile in a day.
 * Look for the little things that would make your partner more comfortable, such as rearranging the cushions or getting a blanket.
 * Comfort your partner when he/she is emotionally down.
 * Be interested in what your partner finds important in life.
 * Allow your partner to teach you without putting up defenses.
 * Make special time available for your partner and your children.
 * Be trustworthy.
 * Be creative when you express love in words or actions.
 * Show your partner you need him/her.
 * Accept your partner the way he/she is and discover his/her uniqueness as something special.

Communication

 * Communicate with your partner, never closing him/her out.
 * Regard your partner as important.
 * Do all in your power to understand your partner's feelings.
 * Be interested in your partner's friends.
 * Ask your partner's opinion frequently.
 * Value what your partner says.
 * Let your partner feel your approval and affection.
 * Avoid sudden major changes without discussing it with your partner and giving him/her time to adjust.
 * Learn to respond openly and verbally when your partner wants to communicate.
 * Correct your partner gently and tenderly.
 * Compliment your partner often - and, more importantly, sincerely.
 * Be forgiving when your partner offends you.
 * Admit your mistakes and do not be afraid to be humble.
 * Take time out for the two of you to sit and talk calmly.
 * Occasionally write your partner a letter, telling your partner how much you love him/her.
 * Express how much you appreciate your partner.
 * Tell your partner how proud you are of him/her.
 * Share your thoughts and feelings with your partner.
 * Tell your partner about your job, if he/she is interested.
 * If something your partner does fails, explain what went wrong only after comforting him/her.
 * Lovingly give advice when your partner asks for it.
 * Defend your partner instead of others (yes, this includes your parents).
 * Do not compare your partner's relatives with yours in a negative way.
 * Thank your partner for things he/she has done without expecting anything in return.
 * Ask if your partner wants to discuss how you can fulfill his/her needs.
 * Find out what makes your partner feel insecure.
 * Plan your future together.
 * Do not quarrel over words, but try to find hidden meanings.
 * Ask if you offend your partner in any way.
 * Ask if your partner is jealous of anyone.
 * See if your partner is uncomfortable about the way the money is being spent.
 * Let your partner express himself/herself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.
 * Carefully choose your words, especially when angry.
 * Do not criticize your partner in front of others.
 * Say, “I love you,” and mean it.
 * Stop saying “I told you so.”
 * Stop arguing.
 * Tell your partner, “I am glad I married you.”
 * Tell your partner what you appreciate about him/her.
 * Give your partner ten affirmations daily.
 * Give a compliment at each meal.
 * Show concern and interest when your partner is talking.


 * Have specific family goals for each year.
 * Let your partner buy the things he/she consider necessary.
 * Rub your partner's feet or neck after a hard day.
 * Go on romantic outings.
 * Prefer your partner over others.
 * Do not expect your partner to do activities beyond his/her emotional or physical abilities.
 * Pray that your partner enjoys God’s choicest gifts in life.
 * Take time to notice what your partner has done for you and the family.
 * Brag to others about your partner behind his/her back.
 * Take time to see how your partner spends his/her day.
 * Learn to enjoy what your partner enjoys.
 * Discipline the children in love, not anger.
 * Help your partner reach his/her goals in both hobbies and education.
 * Get rid of habits that annoy your partner.
 * Be gentle and thoughtful to her relatives.
 * Make sure your partner understands everything you are planning to do.
 * Do little things for your partner, such as an unexpected kiss or breakfast in bed.
 * Treat your partner as an intellectual equal.
 * Discover your partner fears in life.
 * See what you can do to eliminate your partner fears.
 * Take your partner out on occasional dates.
 * Hold your partner's hand in public.
 * Tell your partner you love him/her often.
 * Teach your partner to do what you enjoy doing.
 * Give your partner a special gift every now and then.
 * Share the responsibilities around the house.
 * Be sensitive to other people.
 * Let your family know you want to spend special time with them.
 * Be sympathetic when your partner is sick.
 * Call your partner when you are going to be late.
 * Do not disagree with your partner in front of the children.
 * Take your partner out for dinner and weekend getaways.
 * Do the little things your partner occasionally needs.
 * Give your partner special time to be alone or with friends.
 * Buy your partner what he/she considers a special gift.
 * Read a book your partner recommends to you.
 * Give your partner an engraved plaque assuring him/her of your lasting love.
 * Write your partner a poem about how special he/she is.
 * Stop taking your partner for granted.
 * Make popcorn and feed it to your partner.
 * Pray morning and night prayers together thanking God for each other.
 * Serenade your partner.
 * Visit a zoo.
 * Visit a planetarium.
 * Visit a butterfly house.
 * Visit a children's museum.
 * Put up the Christmas decorations together.
 * Keep a wedding photo in your wallet, on your desk, and/or on your wall.
 * Create a word scramble or crossword of things important to your partner.
 * Pray for your partner every morning, afternoon, and night.
 * Make up a song thanking God for your partner and sing it in the shower.
 * Slip a love note under your partner's plate.
 * Keep a leather bound Bible with your names embossed on the cover on your nightstand and read it together every night.
 * Find something to celebrate every day.
 * Plan a lunch date.
 * Save the last piece of everything for your partner.
 * Thank your partner for preparing or helping to prepare dinner.
 * Buy your partner's favorite candies, fruits, etc.
 * Mail your partner a special card.
 * Fill Easter eggs with “I love you because...” notes.
 * Serve your partner favorite drink in his/her favorite glass or mug.
 * Greet your partner at the door in formalwear.
 * Use a thesaurus to help you describe your feelings of love.
 * Massage your partner's hands.
 * Leave your partner wanting more of you (or simply show that you certainly want more of them).
 * Go on a picnic.
 * Learn what your partner considers relaxing and/or fun.
 * Go shopping where your partner wants to go and do it cheerfully.
 * Keep a love journal and write loving words for your partner to read.
 * Learn from your mistakes and make a new plan for what to do in that area.
 * Where something always seems to go wrong, try something different.
 * Thank your partner often.
 * Go to the library and share the new information you learned.
 * Focus on your partner good qualities and thank God for them.
 * Go window shopping to find what your partner likes.
 * Bake your partner favorite pie, cake, or cookies.
 * Stay married – for better, for worse; in good times and bad.
 * Learn to laugh at your problems.
 * Let rose petals float in a bowl, sink, or bathtub.
 * Let candles float in a fireproof bowl.
 * Visit a nursing home together and bring joy to those in need of it.
 * Watch shooting stars.
 * Anticipate your partner's needs and wants.
 * Make homemade Christmas ornaments together.
 * Go for a walk on a nature trail or in the woods.
 * Get rid of credit cards.
 * Buy 3 scented candles.
 * Wear matching hats, scarves, gloves, etc.
 * Go Christmas caroling together.
 * Write your partner a love poem.
 * Write a love note on your partner's napkin while he/she is away from the table.
 * Create an emergency packing kit with enough for 1 day and 1 night away from home.
 * Go shopping in one place so you can get home sooner.
 * Take a shower, look good, and smell good every day before your partner gets home.
 * Cook extra servings of recipes and freeze them to free up time to be with your partner.
 * Buy in bulk and shop less often so you can spend more time at home.
 * Have dinner ready and on the table when your partner gets home.
 * Learn to say “I love you” in different languages.
 * Celebrate the day you met your partner.
 * Make your partner breakfast in bed.
 * Spend an hour together thanking God for the gift of each other.
 * Tell your partner you love him/her at least 3 times a day.
 * Fill your partner's car with balloons.
 * Compliment your partner on his/her good qualities.
 * Thank your partner for using his/her talents in your marriage.
 * Watch the sun rise and/or set together.
 * Learn to play the piano so you can play love songs to each other.
 * Go to the seashore and watch the waves roll in.
 * Skip stones on a lake.
 * Make play dough together.
 * Try out a new recipe for Christmas cookies together.
 * Make an elegant meal for your partner.
 * Leave a love note or card in or on your partner's car.
 * Practice baking cookies you will make with your children.
 * Care for your partner when he/she is sick.
 * Get your partner homemade soup when he/she is sick – even if you have to go to a restaurant to get it.
 * Go hunting, fishing, and/or camping together.
 * Help in a soup kitchen together.
 * Play “your” song.
 * Help at a homeless shelter together.
 * Never throw away anything that belongs to your partner.
 * Make a dinner to give to poor people.
 * Share your dreams for the future.
 * Pay attention to your appearance. Respect yourself enough to stay stunning.
 * Pay attention to your partner's emotional needs.
 * Put aside time to have fun. Better yet, find ways to make the daily routines in life fun.
 * Be attentive and listen to what your partner has to say.
 * Learn to keep each other's confidence.
 * Find ways to make your partner's life easier, happier, and more exciting.
 * Make your partner feel good about himself/herself.
 * Show your partner your respect, admiration, and appreciation.
 * Refrain from cutting down your partner. Instead, address the problem objectively, using "I" instead of "You" ("I find it hard to have dinner ready when I do not know when you are coming home. Do you have any solutions?" "$40 is not enough to pay the grocery bills for a month. Any ideas?"). The key is to get your partner to devise a solution, brainstorm how it will work, despite how skeptical you may be. If it is your partner's idea, they will be more likely to stick to it.
 * Make it a point to stay on good terms with the important people in his life.
 * Be of good cheer. Refrain from emotional baggage, hidden agendas, and grudges.
 * Strive to be pleasing to the sight and soothing to the soul.
 * Learn to cook.
 * Ask your partner's mother for some family recipes your partner enjoys.
 * Learn to be interesting as well as interested by having a myriad of interests, talents, and experiences to draw from.
 * Be a partner, not a doormat or a damsel in distress.
 * Keep your intellect well-engaged.
 * Be yourself, but always work to improve.

Especially for Men

 * Surprise her with a card or flowers.
 * Take care of the children before mealtime.
 * Help straighten up the house before dinner.
 * Let her take a bubble bath while you do the dishes.
 * Understand her physical limitations, especially if you have several children.
 * Discover her needs.
 * Mark her birthday in your planner.
 * Treat her as if God had stamped her “handle with care.”
 * Do not expect a band to play each time you help with the housecleaning.
 * Practice common courtesies, such as holding the door for her and pouring her coffee.
 * Put your arm around her in front of friends.
 * Remember anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine’s Day, and other special occasions.
 * Learn to enjoy shopping.
 * Do not belittle her feminine characteristics.
 * Stop admiring the qualities of other women.
 * Fix dinner for her from time to time.
 * Help with the dishes.
 * New Dads: give 150% and expect nothing for the first 3-6 months.
 * "Give the “Knight in Shining Armor” coupon – you will rescue her from housework for a day.
 * If she feels nervous, hold her hand and smile reassuringly.
 * Do a load of laundry without her asking.
 * Bring home a flower a day for a month.
 * Help do a chore without being asked.
 * Offer to change the baby's diaper without being asked.
 * Find out if she wants to be treated as physically weaker.
 * Lead your family in their spiritual relationship with God.

Especially for Women

 * Let him know you appreciate his strength and gentleness.
 * Ask him about his work, if he likes talking about it.
 * Let him know you love him the way he is - without any regrets or plans to remake him.